I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
