somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I supernannyed him into submission
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
