i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
