Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
