your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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