i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
