i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
