and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
