I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
