we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
