is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize