Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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