I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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