Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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