Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
