maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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