Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
