Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
