So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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