he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
