i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
