I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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