We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
