Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
