my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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