508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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