He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
