I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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