I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
