im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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