I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Why is there bacon in the couch?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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