She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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