doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize