then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
