I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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