$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize