you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
