I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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