lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
