ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
