I need help removing her.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
