I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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