we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Floor bacon is actually really good
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
