Duck Duck Cougar?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Randomize
