Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
