You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
