dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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