Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
