i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
