there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So many bounce houses so little time
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
