never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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