I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
how does that bad decision feel?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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