I'd wear matching sweaters with you
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
