So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
