just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
