Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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