Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
