cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize