You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
