Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
