FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
