so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
