she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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