Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
