don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
me + whiskey = a bad person
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
