I want to make a zoo with you.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
